How to Properly Bathe in a Washing Machine

Dedicated To:  Vicki and Mike Tozer (they’re not married) Obviously my last three blogs were of dire importance but what about that extra little knowledge that we yearn for?  I want to give a shout out to Mike Tozer, for giving me the courage to speak out about a very serious topic; properly bathing in… Continue reading How to Properly Bathe in a Washing Machine

How to Stay Under 400 this Holiday Season

Over the years I’ve managed to keep it under 400 pounds, so to say I’m anything short of nutritional genius would be a mistake.  I thought I’d share my pearls of wisdom with you so that you too can look prepubescent at the age of twenty one.  Face it, you must be sick of people knowing that… Continue reading How to Stay Under 400 this Holiday Season

Surviving a Bear Attack

I’m teaching you how to survive a bear attack.  (I like to use ambiguous titles to keep the flow of creativity between you and me.) I learned all of what you are about to read by compiling information from the Internet.  So obviously it’s all accurate.  I really need you to stick with me here because… Continue reading Surviving a Bear Attack