Three Easy Ways to be Sexier Every Day (Women’s Edition)

I know I write a lot about how to appeal to men so if you’re getting tired of this I apologize for not caring at all. But this post is a little different because it’s not only to teach women how to be sexier for men. It is to teach women how to be sexier to anyone and anything. I’m gonna teach you how to be so sexy that your toilet seat will fill with lust when your buttocks graces its surface. Your dog will be turned on by the very thought of you putting him on a leash and yelling “Bad boy. Bad boy!” I may have taken this too far but it’s only to make a point. In case you still don’t get the point, it’s that these tips will make you so much sexier and everyone will know it.

To be a little bit sexier in your every day life you need to change the way you naturally exist. What do I mean by this? I’m glad you asked you sexless warthog. I mean the way you walk, sit, and breathe. First thing to address here is the way you walk. Say you’re a college student and you walk into a lecture. I’m going to guess that you walk like this; “left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, and so on.” Knock it off. Anyone can walk like this but do you think Beyonce walks like this? No. Beyonce lifts her foot all the way to her head with every single step. She then crosses each leg across her body while swaying her hands in the air. Every three steps, she stops, puts her hand on her hips, and blows a kiss. The most important thing to remember is that you must always do this. You might think no one is watching but if they are, and you walked normally, you’ll humiliate yourself.

The second thing you need to work on is the way you sit. Once again I’m going to predict how you do it. Bottom on seat, feet flat on ground, and arms in lap? Yep, I knew it. Well this is no longer how you sit. Now, you lower your body down just as you would any other time you sit but when your glutes are three inches from the surface of the chair, you are going to kick your right leg hard and do a back flip, land on your left butt cheek and put your right leg behind your head. Then snap your fingers and make a gun formation with your right hand. Keep your left eye closed in an ultra sexy wink, and do not move until class is dismissed.

Now lets talk about the way you breathe. Inhale, exhale? Yep, ya gotta stop. Instead, breathe in through your mouth, (which by the way should be in the shape of an “o” ) as if this is the last inhale of your life. Breathe in so deeply that you inhale the toupée off the guy’s head in front of you. Then, when you exhale, close your mouth and eyes slightly and shake violently as you exhale. I don’t care if you accidently decapitate the person next to you, just do it. For even sexier breathing techniques from other parts of your body I’m sure the internet has some suggestions. As for me, I like to stick to face breathing because I’m most confident breathing that way and confidence is sexy.

If you don’t follow these techniques than I don’t know what to tell you. The reason that these are so effective is because they are subtle and take only small changes each day. Don’t expect to have the sex appeal of Richard Simmons straight off the bat but with hard work on your part you can become a more alluring lady in no time.

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